Celebrate Divorce – Turning Endings into a New Start

Divorce. Just saying the word can bring a lot of emotions—fear, sadness, and sometimes, a sense of failure.

I remember my divorce felt like a failure to me and to the wider community. I felt surrounded by judgement and whispers. For me, it was the end of a chapter that wasn’t serving me anymore. But the pressure from society to stay in an unhappy marriage can be huge, which means many women feel trapped and isolated.

Yet across the deserts of Mauritania, in the northwest of Africa, divorce is reframed as an opportunity for the future and joyous celebration.

In Mauritania, divorce parties are not just accepted but eagerly embraced. Women come together in their finest clothes to feast, sing, and dance to traditional music. These celebrations mark a woman’s transition from one phase of life to the next with pride.

The culture highlights that divorce is a natural part of life with a societal ethos of individual autonomy.

Contrast this with perceptions in the UK, especially in my South Asian community, where divorce carries significant cultural stigma. In these situations, divorced women can often experience isolation and shame brought on by the expectations of society and the family. Many people feel unsupported and unable to openly discuss their experiences.

In Mauritania, divorce is frequent, with many women going through 5-10 marriages.

The women find divorce gives them freedoms they never dreamed of before or during marriage.

When divorce is accepted and simpler, it’s easier to move away from a situation that doesn’t serve you.

Other women in the community come together for the newly divorced woman to offer companionship, practical, and emotional support. Divorced women here are seen as having more value in the community.

So how can you embrace your new beginning post-divorce?

1. Prioritise Self-Care and Well-Being

Divorce can be emotionally and physically draining. It's crucial to take time for self-care and prioritize your well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's yoga, painting, reading, or simply taking long walks in nature. Consider seeking professional help, such as therapy or counselling, to help you manage your emotions. Your mental health is so important during this transition.

2. Build a Supportive Network

Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, and community who understand and respect your journey. Join divorce support groups or groups that provide a safe space to share your experiences and connect with others going through similar transitions. These connections bring emotional support and practical advice, helping you to feel less isolated and more empowered.

3. Embrace New Opportunities

View your divorce as an opportunity for personal growth and new beginnings. Pursue interests and passions that you may have set aside during your marriage. Maybe think about furthering your knowledge, starting a new career, or embarking on creative projects. The excitement of new opportunities and hobbies can give you hope for the future.

4. Educate Yourself on Your Rights and Resources

Knowledge is power. Equip yourself with information about your legal rights and the resources available to you. When you understand your rights and entitlements, you’ll be empowered to make informed decisions and navigate through the complexities of your divorce with confidence.

5. Celebrate Your Journey

Just as Mauritanian women celebrate their divorces with joyous parties, find ways to celebrate your journey and milestones to mark the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. Celebrate your resilience and strength and acknowledge the growth and progress you’ve made. Embracing these moments of joy will bring you a sense of empowerment and optimism for the future.

Discovering how women and the wider community in Mauritania view divorce can encourage us to take another view on how to look at this transition in our lives.

We can embrace divorce as a catalyst for personal growth, an opportunity to change, and renewed optimism for the future. By celebrating the resilience and courage of individuals navigating divorce, we pave the way for a more compassionate and inclusive society—one where everyone can embrace their journey with pride and confidence.

Know More About Me

I am a former family solicitor, mediator, and single mum of 3 children.

I've been where you are. Luckily for me, as a family lawyer, I understood the legal side of a divorce.

My own personal experience of divorce certainly opened my eyes. I never expected the huge emotional turmoil and how it would affect my thinking. It didn't help that the legal system seemed intent on causing conflict rather than preventing it.

I remember thinking having one expert helping us would bring more clarity and compromise.

The idea to set up a truly unique divorce service was born with a focus on resolution through discussion and collaboration.

There had to be a better way to divorce, and I think I have found it.

READ MY STORY